A few facts about me

I have two followers now and that makes me very happy! Thank you, Heather and Zaufishan! By the way, thank you, Zaufishan for promoting my blog on your Facebook. I still think readers will take a long time to come and stay. But let's not get our hopes down. ^ ^ As I might have mentioned sometime a long time ago on this blog, I was going to add some facts about me. So here we go:

Internet nickname: Odna Draug. (Yes, my nickname has a last name also lol There's a very long story about this nickname and I would have to write a post about it. I tried to changed a few times but it was hopeless as some people in my real life also call me Odna. Yes, I'm aware it means “alone” in Russian . More on that later.)

Other online nicknames: I have some which are a secret. I'm a bit of a paranoid. But I came out on youtube. My nickname there is “Karkimannar”. No, no real movies there yet.

I'm 27 years old. I'm Brazilian from Rio de Janeiro, born and raised ^ ^. I live with my mother in Rio de Janeiro. It might sound weird for some, but here it's quite common for people to live with their parents for a long time, especially for economical reasons.

I studied in two different Universities at the same time finishing one first and then the other. I graduated as a Film making major in 2005 and I'm graduating now as a History major. The University system in Brazil differs greatly from the one found in the USA.

I'm a private teacher as a part-time job. I teach German, English and Portuguese for foreigners.

I love languages! It's one of my biggest passions! I speak Portuguese – my native language ^ ^ - English, German, French and Japanese – none of which I speak perfectly lol. Although the last two ones are my worst, I'm conversational in both. I'm studying Russian at the moment and loving it! I've studied Arabic, Estonian, Latvian, Hungarian, Korean and probably something else but it never evolved. I have a list. I'm a freak like that.

I'm a nerd.

I have many hobbies. Some include studying, reading, drawing, writing, singing, internet and video games.

I also love cooking and usually the cook around here. I find cooking very relaxing.

I have no religion, but I'm very spiritual and I care a lot about my beliefs.

I'm crazy about purple, green and black. However, I do love all colors it's just I prefer those three ^ ^.

I hate green bell peppers. Hate them. It's the only food I truly hate. Don't give me that! Noooooooo!

Give me kimchi every day. I loooooooove kimchi.

I have a cooking blog in my native language, Portuguese called Viagem Culinária.

I've lived in four different countries including my own: Brazil, Germany (Lemgo), USA (New York City) and Japan (Osaka). In Germany and Japan I was a scholarship exchanged student with hosfamilies. I also spent two weeks in Riga, Latvia, in 2002 with a wonderful host family.

I was in Manhattan in September 11th 2001.

I worked in a restaurant in the Trump Tower as a coat checker. It's almost an anthropological experiment.

I love the world.

I'm a Film maker. I've directed three (very bad) short movies and participated in several independent short films and documentaries. This is my dream and I hope I can become a full time Film maker soon.

I'm also an amateur singer. I was in a band but we are in a hiatus. I hope to come back soon as I'm passionate about music. Our music was very weird and experimental as we all are very eclectic. Nowadays I sing more lyrical and enka.

People in real life think I'm very talkative and extroverted. But in reality I'm very shy, insecure and self-conscious. I'm trying to overcome that tough.

I'm very opinionated and have been feeling like... I'm not expressing myself well and/or enough lately. It's probably because I'm not brave. (I won't say a “coward” because it's a bit much, no? Hehehe ^ ^') Although I do love discussing so I can learn more and more everyday. I also have a tendency to talk to people I don't agree so I can understand their points of view. .

My favorite season is autumn.

I'm addicted to coffee and mineral water.

Weirdly enough I'm a day person outside and a night person at home. Meaning I get sleepy very early when I go out but if I'm to stay home I go to bed very late for no reason what so ever.

I'm terrified of dogs. I'm not against dogs or hate dogs, I'm just very afraid of them, especially very little dogs. But I've liked dogs in my life a lot. I think they are adorable... and somewhat scary.

I love food. Loooooove food. I have many favorite foods.. hard to make a list.

Anyways, that's a little bit about me. Hope it covers for now... it was actually quite hard to think what to write about! I probably forgot something essential! LOL!

I hope you all have a great weekend!

Saturday, November 21, 2009


Today I was really into writing this post and gave it a lot of thought as I spent my day in the bus and library. But weirdly enough, as I came home tiredness won and I just couldn't. I'll just give you a briefing, but not really all that I wanted to say...

I was very sad to see the way people were treating Kim and Erin as they stated their current situation. Kim leaving Islam and Erin having doubts. I think some people were just acting the worst of the worst, Muslims and non-Muslims alike... a terrible example of how humans can be so... ok, detestable. Detestable is the word for me. I was so sad and upset.

People judge others so easily. How easy it is to judge another person, yet very few people look deep into themselves and see how they are. People make it all about them, and as I stated in my previous post... many times it's not. It's just not about you all the time. And if you think it is... the problem might be you. One should analyze oneself and try to find just what is actually bothering you so much.

In the website Muslimness they made a very nice post. A post about comprehension and compassion. Things which many people are just lacking. I really recommend reading it.

For the intolerant people out there: you give humanity a bad name. I'm so sad... truly disappointed.

p.s.: Kim closed her new blog and channel. I wish her all the best and wished I had talked to her more and sooner.

Friday, November 20, 2009

A path for each

Yesterday was an interesting day in the Islamic blog and vlogsphere. As you might have noticed, no, I'm not Muslim. And no, I'm not Christian as you can check here. So why do I read so many Muslim blogs? I don't really know for sure. I guess the ones that I do like to read are interesting to me, make me relax, smile and feel good. I like the way my favorite bloggers write, what they write about – not that I always agree with what they are saying – but I do like to read them a lot. As this blog has actually being frozen since April I never got a chance to update the ones I read the most. I'm also shy, even to comment online – yes, I know, it's silly. So many of those bloggers never noticed I read them daily and watched their videos because I never expressed myself at the time. I regret it now.

So, what happened yesterday? I went to bed on Monday after studying a lot – as I wrote here I have an important paper due so I can finally major in History – and read my favorite blogs before bed. So, I wake up, get ready, check my emails and check the blogs again. But... where's Kimdonesia's blog? (For those who don't know, Kimdonesia is an Australian girl, Kim, who converted to Islam and had one of the coolest blogs and the coolest youtube channel. Not to mention she's a sweetheart and always made me smile with her great personality.) Hummm... weird, I thought. Maybe a blogger problem? I find out later though another blog I love, Ange's blog, that Kimdonesia had left Islam. My jaw dropped. What did I miss in less than 8 hours? I go to one of my favorite youtube channels, thevintagegoth's channel (a munaqqabah convert girl from Kansas. Another sweet funny girl, very smart with personality to spare), and she posted a video about Kim that was a very good one. I was worried about Kim, but after the video I thought everything was fine. So, I go to school, have classes, come back, teach, tra la la, eat lunch, go to the internet relax before studying. All of thevintagegoth videos were gone. I thought “what's going on?”. A little later on The vintage goth posts an emotional video without her hijab or her niqab on talking about, in her own way, why she removed her videos. Silly me, I wrote her the longest message, must have creeped her out LOL It's all my fault, I should have contacted them a lot sooner, now it's a little late. So I decided to write this post in English – which you might have noticed by now, it's not my first language – about my feelings and why I care about these two young ladies and why I identify with them in some way.

First, let me tell you a little about my interest in Islam. I'll jump it to 2003 and tell you other things in the future, hopefully, so this doesn't get too long and boring. So, in 2003 when I started a project about Islam in my first university (I'm a Film making major) I began going to the mosque, making Muslim friends (some are my close friends until this very day), wearing hijab while there – it just felt comfortable – and reading a lot etc. I stopped drinking and eating pork as well. Everybody thought I was going to convert. Everyone. Even I did. But it never happened. Why?

Erin, the vintage goth, said in her second video something that exactly expresses. I couldn't have come up with that. I'm in love with Islam, but I don't believe in it (she actually said she doesn't know. I'm the one who doesn't believe). It might not make sense to Muslims or non-Muslims. But for me it's exactly that. I love Islam as I love all religions. I love Muslims as I love every human on this planet. But I don't believe in it. I respect it a lot and know how misunderstood it is, especially since Muslims are the “enemies du jour”, probably the first ones of the internet era. Really tough.

I've had many issues with religion. For a long time I was a devout Catholic. When I tell this to people that have been known me for years but not that long, they can't believe it. But, yes. I was the most Catholic little girl you could have met. My mom is very spiritual, but not really so Catholic oriented. But I was more Catholic than my grandparents were. It all ended when I was only 10. I realized I didn't really believe in any of that, despite the fact I respected a lot. So I left Christianity, because I didn't believe in it. I never stopped believing in God or praying my own way. I just didn't believe in that interpretation of God.

And that's where I can feel an identification to Erin and Kim. I understand that feeling. Ok, it's completely different for each individual, but still: At age 15 I joined another religion which I won't tell you which one :P I was REALLY into it. Really. I read a lot, practiced a lot, swallowed every bit of criticism, cried at home when Baptist Christians (funnily enough, here in Brazil the protestant Christians are the most conservative of the bunch) thought I had the demon in me, defended myself and made everything to protect my believes, brought others to the faith etc. Then one day I realized... as many years before with Catholicism... I also didn't believe in it. It was a crisis for my heart. I was so sure, why I didn't believe anymore? What happened? I didn't even think was wrong and I still have a lot of care for that religion. I still remember when I left. People of the community were shocked. Me of all people left. Many tried to persuade me to please come back while some even cursed me – yes, friends... they are in EVERY community. But I knew it was not right for me. It made me happy and gave my soul relieve for a time. But not anymore. So I left. It was tough and painful... More than 7 years of my life I spent believing in that religion. Again, I still have a lot of respect and care for it, I just don't tell you which one for personal reasons.

I will make a comparison with vegetarianism. I know it will sound crazy. But hear me out. I have some friends who became vegetarians and their lives just improved! Their health was better, they looked better etc. Vegetarianism was for them. However, I had other friends in which happened the opposite. Their health declined, their appearance was awful, they were always tired. And yes, they went to vegetarian nutritionists and doctors. It didn't improve, although some kept at it. Vegetarianism wasn't for them. Religion is a bit like that. I do believe in God. But I also believe there are so many ways to acknowledge God. If people think they found the truth, that's the truth for them. Maybe for a period or maybe for the rest of their lives. As long as they are good and happy.

Kim entered Islam for all the right reasons and left it for all the right reasons. (Wrong reasons would be maybe... for a guy and leaving because of that guy?) So, I would like people to stop judging Erin and Kim for their videos as each person has their path. It doesn't make them bad... I don't think people should judge others so much. For some it almost looks like some kind of hobby.

I'm happy both didn't disappear and will keep spreading light and smiles across the globe to people they never met. I wish you strength and I wish I had talked sooner and wouldn't sound now like a stalker! lol ^ ^.

I had a lot more to say, but it would become almost like a book. So, I might talk about some topics these past days made me think about sometime in the future.

Let's build a better world.

p.s.: It's not because some left Islam or Christianity that they will start drinking and partying. I don't enjoy drinking and partying and I have no religion. So there.

p.s.2: I do have my own beliefs... I just don't have other's to share them with... ;_; It's a lonely religion, but it has been working for me so far. ^ ^

A side note: I just realized how many people are being so disrespectful towards Kim's decision! I won't give you their pages, blog or youtube channels, I won't five them traffic. I'm just appalled! And I came accross these as I wasn't even looking for anything. I can't believe in people sometimes. Seriously. They make everything about them. Guess what? It's not about you! Go find some hobbies! Will do you some good.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


So... this blog has also been abandoned. I'm sad about it. I do want (need?) to reactivate it. And I will. I feel I need it...

I have a serious research paper due to December 2nd. I feel like I can't. But I have to make and I will... I hope this will end soon.

By the way, thank you to all the bloggers, specially the Muslimah bloggers for their lovely blogs. They made me smile many times I thought I just couldn't. I know you won't read this hehehe but it's from the bottom of my heart and I hope this nice feeling I have that comes from your writting will get to you somehow. ^^

Monday, November 16, 2009